I asked 2 different strangers to take our pic and this was the best shot they could get...a mommy date with mom friends and a mom to be!
I like to research things. So I kinda surprised myself that I didn't get a zillion books while I was pregnant and research everything about birth, breastfeeding, and parenthood. I think subconsciously I know myself well. I tend to be a worrier; I think if I read all those books I would've realized how clueless I was and freaked myself out about everything.
It wasn't until Parker was about a month old that I dusted off a few books that friends had loaned me and started intently studying them. So many books; such conflicting information. Cry it out? Sleep training? Schedules? What's a new mom to do?
My experience with following the methods of a couple of popular books failed. I actually was more stressed out and overwhelmed trying to implement these authors techniques and plans. Instead, I tuned in to my daughters needs and my instincts, and that seems to be working well for us. Do I let my baby cry it out? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Do I nurse her to sleep when the books say I shouldn't? Yep. Do I wear my baby? I try to but she hates it.
I'm not saying you shouldn't read books about parenting; I know some mom's who follow the advice of these books religiously and both mom and baby seem to adapt well. To be honest, I would've preferred that my baby adapted well too. It would've made life a heck of a lot more predictable. But she didn't (or perhaps I gave up too quickly?) But once I decided that those books weren't the bible on parenting, I let it go. And Parker and I are both all the happier.
All that to say, books are great, but there are generations of moms who've raised children without these how to manuals. Trust your gut and intuition!
Was there a parenting book that you swear by? Or did you just do what felt right?
I would read the asleep research on baby center.com at all hours of the night and it seemed to help. With an infant you've got to use your instincts. And you're doing a great job Ruthy! But... this feisty tantrum throwing toddler phase had me defeated a few weeks ago. A book I read swore by their method but it didn't work at all.
ReplyDeleteOh, this makes me feel better. People keep telling me to read certain books and I have a few on my night stand, but there is part of me that just wants to enjoy these last few month childless and not stressed over researching what I should do in every situation in the future. I plan to trust my instincts and listen to the baby!
ReplyDeleteLIKE ICECREAM by KEITH FARRIN
ReplyDeleteP.S. I will lend it out just ask
stoflemusic@gmail.com
I think following your mommy instincts is the way to go. Every kid is different and so is every child/mom relationship. I figure I'll just figure it out as I go... At least that's what I'm telling myself so I don't worry too much. I made the mistake of reading a lot of pregnancy books and websites and they've only made me anxious. I'm 90% sure that's why this little one is taking her sweet time joining us out here. I can't relax!!
ReplyDeleteI'm the kind of person who loves information, so I got a kick out of reading all the parenting books - but so far none of them has been a cure-all for us. A few nuggets from Babywise, a few nuggets from Dr Sears, a bit of the Baby Whisperer, and some advice from the blogosphere... the rest I make up as we go. But I did get enough out of the books that I still recommend them to others. I think it just depends on your personality.
ReplyDeleteI agree with.when i had baby my husband's collegues gave him books on babies but i didnt read them at all.i just went qith what felt right for me and for my baby.
ReplyDeleteI read more books during the pregnancy but nowadays it's more talking to other moms and just figuring it out. Babycenter.com app is awesome too for informational purposes!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! I had a few books recommended to me and one friend told me, read them all then take what you like from each and use that.
ReplyDeleteI am sooo with you in this Ruthy. Mommy and baby personalities are so unique, I just can't make sense of trying to fit in any box if how it's " supposed" to be. I don't see how that works. And I am a worry wart, if I thought there was a way it was " supposed to be done", I'd drive myself crazy trying to do it.
ReplyDeleteIs that you in the hat? You look adorable!
ReplyDeleteA friend actually just asked me what parenting books I recommend yesterday...and I pretty much said the same thing that you said here. Parenting is so much more about who you ARE than about any formulaic strategies or schedules.
You have it exactly right: "I tuned in to my daughters needs and my instincts, and that seems to be working well for us." Cheers!
P.S. I totally nursed all three of my girls to sleep and my older two are well-adjusted, wonderful sleepers. The little one (10 months) is still waking in the night, just as her sisters did at this age. No worries, my friend. :)
stephanie@metropolitanmama.net
I had the same exact experience. I didn't think it was all that great to let Jude shriek in his crib. In fact, he doesn't even sleep in his crib. I do a floor mat. I'd rather he's peaceful. He's crying for a reason, even if it spoils him, he knows that mat is his sleepy place and he is great about it. I haven't read one of those books in months. We go with how it all feels, and if it feels right and there are smiles, it's right.
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